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Pata Pata Restaurant

Sunday, December 21st, 2014

Reviewed by E N

The following is based on real events, happened to real people... as yet no one has been harmed in the service from this restaurant. 10 Minutes from sitting: Drinks arrive, minus one drink - rectified after reminded server. 15 minutes from sitting: We order food, inquiring what is in the famous Pata Pata sauce: Server does not know, but assures our onion hating party there are no onions (there are onions) Allergic folk beware. 40 minutes from ordering: No souls passing our table from the first drinks going down.... We have to get up and go ask a server to send the manager..... Concave stomachs complaining. 50 minutes from ordering: We discuss leaving, only to be greeted with our 'culinary delights' second request for the manager. 55 minutes from ordering: Staring at food on plate, wondering if it had been reheated from previous day, some people attempt to eat their food, the delicious undertones of cardboard were the main flavors. 1 hour 15 minutes from ordering: Manger finally arrives, we voice our concerns over the appalling service... mumbling is heard.... there was an unenthusiastic apology, we asked for the bill possibly wondering if this guy was pulled from the street. We love role play, but this was a bit far fetched even for us. 1 hour 25 mins of pain: We received a bill to a ridiculous sum, which you might expect to pay at Saxon. In a restaurant who's fees probably rival the extravagance of Nkandla, we would expect not to be charged R12 for a few chunks of cucumber, the server to know what their famous Pata Pata sauce contains, to be fed within a decent amount of time, and the correct drinks to come to the table. In a nut shell: No concept of time. I'd say the service was bad, but there was none. The prices ironically reflect the service. Food leaves a lot to be desired... even a side salad can polish a turd, but that would probably be another R50. All in all, we would rate this restaurant a 9/10 for the comedy value alone, and would definitely recommend it for Leon Schuster's next gag.
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