San Marco

Thursday, September 14th, 2017

Reviewed by Helen Duffett

The venue, of course, is wonderful. Fresh air, beautiful sights, pretty seating. My burger was good but there it seemed to end. Ordering drinks: I made it clear to our waitron that I couldn't hear her delicately dulcet tones, which seemed to have no effect on her demeanor of having just mainlined a pocketful of lemons. We are OUTSIDE, there are PEOPLE milling and talking, so SPEAK UP when your patron says "Could you repeat that please" 2 or 3 times... Ordering food: I wasn't asked if I preferred my meat to be Dead, DeadDead or DeadDeadDead. So DeadDead it arrived. Not all bad. The "skinny fries and onions" would have put Kate Moss to shame. They were so skinny that they were drier than cardboard and about as tasty, when smothered in a sauce. As my companion and I were on our second-to-last mouthful, our waitron brushed past our table and questioningly whispered if everything was okay. I don't know that she stayed to hear anything. I did say she was brushing past our table. In fact there was a hell of a lot of brushing past our table as other waitrons seemed to need access to an inaccessible table behind us. My companion shifted her chair several times to avoid being dislodged from her seat. Entertainment: I wasn't aware that there was entertainment scheduled for the evening, so the magnificent tenor voice that suddenly had all the patrons scared out of their wits did come as something of a "mild" surprise. My companion and I were meeting for a discussion which then had to be shouted at each other over the lyrical rendition of Puccini's greatest pop song. Just as we thought we could get back to speaking without the use of a megaphone, the trio started a second song. I'll say it, they were good, but not on my agenda for the evening. Neither was the charming tip-box-cum-ice-bucket that was politely proffered for their Uber home. Management: Who? Management? The host was genial, and convivial too, and all too eager to have us sit down and peruse the menu, rather than read the giant board menu displayed so keenly and politely outside of the seating area. Oh, and the host did bid us farewell when we left. Super. We felt "special". A performance not to be repeated.