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The Dog’s Bollocks at YARD

6 Reviews
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Burgers
Phone Number 0214618134 Opening Hours

Monday to Sunday 9am to 10.30pm

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Menu

Menu - Yard - Full Menu - Updated January 2018

Details

Cost
R80 avg main meal
Food
Burgers
Corkage
No BYO
Cost
R80 avg main meal
Ambience
Groups, Quick meals
Payment
Mastercard, Visa
Facilities
Accepts credit cards, Breakfast, Dinner, Food, Lunch, Parking, Serves food, Takeaways

Critic's review

  • Ambience
  • Service
  • Food

Annelize Visser

Gigantic juicy burgers served with a side of profanity will make you want to go back for more.

Food

Most burgers come with chips. At the Dog’s Bollocks they come with stupendous chips and a large helping of cheerful haranguing from your waitress, who one hopes will moderate her language based on cues from her customers, but who also may not.

This burger joint in a former panel beater’s shop is famously gritty, the burgers are just famous, and the vibe wonderfully anarchic. There are four kitchens with overlapping opening hours, but as a rule of thumb you should come early for breakfast at Mucky Mary, turn up around lunchtime for The Bitch’s Tits, at any time at all for The Dog’s Bollocks, and from 11am onwards for the innocuous-sounding Pizza Warehouse.

You could start with chicken wings (choosing from three basting sauces and seven dips, which could take a while), or go straight to the Bollocks burgers. You share responsibility for your meal in several ways: A person nominated by your party will write their name on the blackboard and will be summoned (i.e. someone will yell their name) to ferry the burgers to your table.

Then there are choices to be made: beef, chicken or – heaven forbid – vegan? Would you like prego sauce with that? Or would you prefer your burger smothered in spicy chilli con carne with red kidney beans, or in a nacho cheese sauce with home-pickled jalapeños? It matters little: They all cost the same, the server will declare you’re a genius for choosing whatever it is, and they’re all bloody good.

There might be a chocolate brownie on offer to end off with, but the burgers will leave little room.

Drinks

It’s no BYO, but if you turn up with something special from your cellar, there’s a good chance the staff will be so surprised they’ll let you get away with it. The wine list was composed by someone who thought it highly likely you’d prefer a beer or a cocktail instead, which you should.

Service

The service is edgy, risky and right on brand. Drinks arrive promptly; getting the food to your table is of course entirely your business and the atmosphere encourages you to endeavour to do your very best.

Ambience

It’s a bit raucous and you’re either going to love it or hate it. If the former, have an extra cocktail to celebrate finding a place you want to hang out at all the time. If the latter, suck it up and don’t come back.

Best for…

A party starter ahead of a boisterous night out.

(August 2019)

Eat Out critics dine unannounced and pay for their meals in full. Read our full editorial policy here.

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User reviews

6 Reviews
    Appearance was something quite different, but lekker different. Staff were super friendly and the vibe and service were new to me and refreshing. I love my hamburgers and would highly rate them based on my burger sensor.
    Excellent vibe. Great burgers. Must experience.
    Seriously the best burgers in SA
    Best and biggest burgers in Cape Town
    urgers as big as your face! It took me way to long to visit the dogs bollocks for a burger, but I went to to the bitches tits for tacos and amazing sarmies often, It is loud and fast and really appeals to my sense of humour. Perfect to go for a drink and burger to unwind after a long shit day. I've seen many mixed reviews about the quality of the burgers, but I have to say mine was AMAZING! At first I was intimidated... How the hell do you eat a burger that is quite literally as big as you face? But once you get into it you forget that there are other people around you who may be watching you, but are probably eating their own burger just as badly, and just enjoy it.

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